


Commiseration IPA

by phanerozoic



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Beer, Gratuitous Use of In-Game Dialogue, M/M, Vaguely Implied Suicidal Ideation but with Heavy Emphasis on the Implied and Ideation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 09:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19206796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanerozoic/pseuds/phanerozoic
Summary: When Sebastian was forced to relocate his rainy-day musing from the docks to the lake, he thought it was the prelude to a miserable afternoon. Then Shane comes along, and while his day isn't any brighter for it, he might get something good out of it after all.





	Commiseration IPA

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I have no idea if I'm taking the tone of this seriously or not, I just thought during my first playthrough of the game that certain pieces of their dialogues would play really well off of one another. Then, this happened. I love these two messes, and this game has stolen my heart for the better portion of two years now. 
> 
> This is the first fic I've posted online in a decade, though I've been writing other things in the interim, so I'm posting this first to gauge interest before posting the actually explicit half of the story. I hope you don't mind too much.
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy reading it!

The day starts out so promising – Sebastian can hear the rain beating down outside even from his room when he wakes up. It’s a herald of a perfectly quiet day to come; being soaked and cold and breathing in the salt of the sea is infinitely preferable to being home.

The crisp Fall air only serves to make the rain that much more refreshing as Sebastian makes his way down the beach at midday and towards the pier, the distant thunder like a balm to help quiet his mind. He’s entirely alone, as he suspected, and aside from the roaring of the storm and the sea, there’s no noise. None of the noise that matters, at least. No talking, no expectations, no questions that cut and sting and flay him open like-

No, scratch that. 

Sebastian startles at the first clang of metal on metal, looking towards the source of the noise. It’s by the cabin, the one that unproven poet apparently lives in; instead of Elliot, however, he sees that farmer, the one who just moved in, laboring away with a hammer and nails and a massive pile of wood. How the hell did they even bring that much wood to the beach? Sebastian tries to ignore them when he finally sits at the end of the pier, but about ten minutes in he gives up. The carpentry, amateurish as even he can tell, grates on his ears relentlessly. Why bother going to the beach at all, if reminders of his home are just going to follow him?

Sam’s got to be in his house on a day like this, but Jodi never leaves the house on a rainy day, and he doesn’t have the energy to give updates on his mother and Demetrius, as if Sam’s mother is incapable of going to their house to catch up like a normal person, instead of relying solely on gossip. Sebastian grits his teeth and walks straight past Sam’s house, and enters the woods instead. There’s a pond with a dock by the Ranch; it’ll be good enough. It’ll have to be.

\---

He sits on the dock, blissfully alone, for all of thirty minutes. He turns at the sound of footsteps on damp wood, and when he looks up to see what the universe decided to curse him with this time, it’s Shane. Sebastian immediately moves to get up to leave.

“Don’t bother, I’m not gonna talk to you.” Shane’s voice is entirely flat, and something in the low drone of it convinces Sebastian to sit back down. If Shane won’t talk, then Sebastian can pretend he isn’t there at all, and wouldn’t that be a treat? Being the one to do the ignoring, for once. As he gets lost in that train of thought, time passes surprisingly quickly. By the time Sebastian finds himself brought back to the present, his jacket is completely soaked through by the rain and clinging to him uncomfortably. He glances over at Shane, who’s apparently lost in thought as well. Shane’s hood is up, unlike Sebastian’s, but he doesn’t look like he’s faring any better with the rain. What little he can see of Shane’s hair is dripping.

Shane’s not paying him any attention, actually, though Sebastian isn’t sure why he expected otherwise. He hardly knows the guy, apart from what little Sam has told him. He looks exceptionally plain – a thin and washed-out jacket, messily cut hair, facial hair that’s grown past a five-o-clock shadow and right into unkempt scruff territory. As far as Sebastian knows, he doesn’t have any friends, perhaps aside from Emily. He’s not sure if Shane’s standoffish nature is causing that, or just caused by it, but everyone seems to give him a wide berth regardless. Something in Sebastian twists bitterly. Maybe he should ask for some pointers.

Shane’s face is tense, eyebrows drawn in but his eyes still betraying an inner turmoil that he can’t seem to fully hide. It’s not something Sebastian’s used to seeing in other people, and despite himself he finds himself thinking that Shane could very well be interesting after all. Maybe Shane’s like him. There’s clearly something to him, at least. He’s not exactly a problem for Sebastian to solve, but he’s at least a question worth answering. He just doesn’t even know what the question is, yet.

The idea’s formed before Sebastian’s entirely aware of it, and he picks up a pebble from between the wooden planks of the dock and throws it. It works; the noise as it hits the water breaks Shane out of his reverie and draws his gaze.

“You know,” Sebastian starts, coughing awkwardly, “I was thinking. People are like rocks, skipping on the surface of the water.” Shane raises an eyebrow but says nothing. Sebastian picks up another stone and tosses it, waiting until it’s skipped thrice and fallen in before continuing. “Eventually, we’re all going to sink.” Shane stares at him.

“Pretty sure I’ve already sunk, then.”

Sebastian holds Shane’s eye contact for all of two seconds before having to look away. Unsure what else to say, he just nods and gives a small hum of acknowledgement. Silence falls between them again. Shane sighs, gets to his feet, and leaves. Sebastian figures he’s left, and looks back out over the water. The dismissal was sudden, but he tells himself that the solitude is what he came here for to begin with, so it’s not worth worrying about. There’s nothing to be disappointed about at all. He keeps telling himself this, and when he hears footsteps again about a half hour later, he firmly suppresses the relief spreading through him. Sebastian leans back on his hands, turning to look as Shane sits back down with a grunt. He’s got a case of beers in tow.

“Want one?”

Sebastian looks at the label - it’s an IPA, not what he’d typically go for, but he nods and accepts it regardless. Tapping the can against the one Shane’s grabbed for himself in a toast, he pops the tab and takes a generous swig, swallowing against the hoppy bitterness with some difficulty. He brings his legs up to fold beside him on the dock as he turns a fraction towards Shane, just enough to keep him in his peripheral vision. Shane’s attention is now focused on his own drink. He observes silently as Shane tips his head back to drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing twice before he lowers his can. Maybe it’s something he gets at Joja Mart? If Shane gets an employee discount on it - assuming Joja would ever be so generous as to give employees a discount- that could explain why he seems so at-ease drinking it, like it’s something he actually enjoys. Supposedly it’s an acquired taste, but why anyone would bother acquiring it at all is beyond him.

He looks back down at his can. The guy listened to him talk, and then gave him a beer. Suspicion nags at him – was it a move of generosity, giving him something he seems to value, or just pity? Does Shane just want him to shut up? He frowns, his grip tightening to match his expression. Is he trying to imply Sebastian is being too serious? Moody, his mother would say, and wouldn’t that just be the damndest thing for Shane to start sounding like her? Or maybe--

“Hey.” Shane’s voice jars Sebastian to the present, and he flinches violently. “You want another?”

Blinking, Sebastian looks down and realizes he’s finished the beer and had begun to crumple it in his grip. When the hell did that happen? The beer’s a more comforting explanation for the sourness in his gut than the anxiety still present in the back his mind, though. One more’s fine.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll have one.” Sebastian takes the beer, pausing for several moments before adding, “Thanks.”

Shane doesn’t respond, but looks at Sebastian, who only manages to meet his eyes for a single beat this time before he has to look away.

The second beer is drained more slowly, and once it’s empty Sebastian’s comfortably buzzed, the alcohol softening the edges of his mind and leaving everything in a pleasant haze. This feels good, may even be worth the beers he drank to get here. The anxiety that had spiked earlier had once again been quelled, leaving him feeling something frighteningly close to content, freezing and soaked through as he is. He realizes now that it was a gesture of goodwill for Shane to share these with him.

The world-weary sigh from next to him doesn’t dampen his mood, but it does catch his attention. As do the three empty cans next to Shane, but he ignores that, simply tilting his head curiously.

“Just… Life. All of it.” Sebastian hums in agreement. “You’re right. I really have sunk.” There are words of protest at Sebastian’s tongue at that- You said it, not me - but it’s one of the rare instances that he decides not to say anything. Shane’s face falls progressively flatter as he continues to speak. “It’s like I’m already there, at the bottom. And everything is so heavy, like I’m made of lead, and I can’t move. No matter what I do, I’m just… stuck.”

Sebastian absently thumbs at the tab of his can, unsure if he’s actually being talked to or just talked at. It’s the most he’s ever heard Shane speak at once, and he makes a mental reminder to ask Sam later if he’s heard longer. He’d leave the specific words out of it. Probably. He’s too buzzed for promises. Downing the rest of his beer, he decides that Shane’s momentary quiet is an invitation to speak.

“I know what you mean, sort of. I just want to be able to break out, to be something other than this, but I can’t, I’m being held back. Nothing around me will budge. I know what I want to do, what I want to be, where I want to go, but it isn’t happening. Everything I do just gets struck down by someone else, and it’s just – it’s just so frustrating –”

“- and you don’t know what the point is, why you should keep trying –“

“Exactly!” Sebastian grins.

“- and I want to keep trying, truly,” Shane says, not at all smiling, “if not for myself then at least for Jas. But I don’t think I can climb out of this, get back up to the surface. I don’t think I’d know how to breathe if I got there.”

Sebastian shrugs. “It sounds like you have someone waiting for you, if you come back. That’s something.”

“Honestly, I think I’ll have driven Jas away long before that. She’s smart, she should know better than to want me around. I don’t know why she still does.”

“Maybe she’ll be there. Maybe not. But for me…” Sebastian’s voice catches, but he covers it with a cough. What’s he saying to this guy? “If I were to disappear, I don’t know if anyone would care.” He drags his hand over his face. “Fuck, maybe they wouldn’t even notice, I don’t know.” Lowering his hand, he realizes it’s shaking.

Silence hangs over them again, but Sebastian’s too busy staring in confusion at his trembling hands and trying to bury the discomfort gnawing at him to really notice.

“Sebastian. Hey.” Shane’s hand lays on Sebastian’s shoulder, which finally gets him to look back over at the man. “Let’s make a deal. How’s this sound: If I ever… go missing, say, you’ll at least notice it. And I’ll notice if you ever do the same.” Sebastian just looks at him, not sure if he’s serious or not.

“Oh yeah?” He asks. Shane laughs, a low and bitter sound.

“I’m a man of my word.” Shane’s got a wry smile on his face. Sebastian, mildly thrumming now with intoxication, throws his head back and starts laughing in a way he hasn’t done in months.

“Alright,” he says between chuckles, “I swear. You up and leave, I’ll be the first to know. Cross my heart.” He holds out his hand, and Shane shakes it.

“And hope to die?”

“Obviously.” Shane tips his drink in a mock salute to that, downing what seems to be the rest of his can and setting it aside.

“I’ll drink to that. You know, Sebastian, I’ve never seen you laugh before. It makes you look less like a walking corpse.” Sebastian laughs again at that, rolling his eyes. Shane’s staring now, and Sebastian’s surprised to realize that it doesn’t bother him.

“Wow, seriously? I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. Hate to break it to you though, I still don’t feel alive.”

“Yeah, I get that. But hey... do you want to?”

Sebastian opens his mouth for another flippant response, but when he looks at Shane fully, the words dry up. Nothing comes out, and his mouth is left gaping for a moment before his mind catches up and snaps it shut. This time, when he meets Shane’s gaze, he holds it longer than a single beat, for seconds, and longer still. Something in his gaze is arresting, an intensity and a spark of heat that didn’t exist before – or perhaps it did, and he just didn’t notice. Does the difference matter? He’s not sure.

It takes several more seconds of sustained eye contact for the whole scope of Shane’s question to register. His response, however, follows the revelation instantly.

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of Shane desperately wanting to be a Beer Guy(TM), but having to settle for whatever shitty IPA Joja has. Maybe it's a stretch to think Joja has any beer that isnt a cheap mass-produced lager, but I'm gonna take that liberty. He seems like a triple-IPA kind of guy, like the beer equivalent of the person who drinks straight liquor because the ABV is more important than the taste (hello, that's me).
> 
> The actual explicit content comes next chapter, once I've finished wrapping it up. Let me know what you thought of this beginning, for better or for worse! I'm happy to hear what comments, critique, or suggestions y'all may have.


End file.
